Thursday, February 17, 2011

Scratching Posts and Snow Vacuums


You know what I want? I want a human made cat gym. You know? Those scratching post gym things that everyone buys for cats. They are like... covered in carpet and have little toys and tunnels? I WOULD LOVE a whole house like that or something. THAT WOULD BE SO AWESOME. carpeted walls??? BOOYA! Can you imagine how intense it would be when you had to vacuum the ceiling? Plus you can relax on the very top carpeted balcony and soak in the sun on spring days? Although it would probably really stink when it snowed..... Shoveling that would not be fun. Maybe they would invent a snow vacuum haha. WHY HAVEN'T THEY INVENTED THAT???? With all the technology around, they should invent a vacuum that will vacuum up snow and transfer it into water once its in the actual container... MAYBE EVEN PURIFY THE WATER!! That would be so AWESOME! No snow and free water haha. People in north Canada would probably all have giant lakes and swimming pools.... Maybe that might not be too healthy for global warming but hey the snow is going to melt anyway....

Oh well...

Thursday, February 10, 2011

MBTA secret agents and Aliens


Remember when back in the early 90's there were spy movies so intense at the time but now you watch them and say... "well that wasn't so high tech..." Well thanks to those movies, I feel like a secret spy every day. This might not apply to people outside the state of massachusetts fyi. But those. Charlie cards for the T are the big magic secret. How many people feel like a secret agent like I do when they tap their Charlie Cards against the beeping machine and get let into the station. Man I feel like I am on a mission boo ya! Especially at big stations like North Station and Back Bay Station. Those stations make me feel like I'm part of the Men in Black. Any second ill be walking across north station and ill see a creature that looks like Jar Jar Binks' pet cat with high intelligence equipment and wave like we are old college buddies. Think about it people... everytime you are taking public T... you could have been a secret MIB spy of the 90's

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Pterodactyl Shit


Everyone know what a pterodactyl is? Ya that huge flying bird dinosaur? Well I'm sitting in class right now and I just thought how funny it would be if i just dumped a glob of yogurt off of the 3rd floor window. (when does a building with floors become a building of stories anyway? is it 3rd story window or 3rd floor? Is it a floor that tells a story?) ANYWAY.... that yogurt will plop on someone's head and right afterwards I make this screeching pterodactyl noise out of a megaphone. HOW MANY PEOPLE WOULD BE LIKE, "AAHHH a pterodactyl just shit on my head!!!!!!!!!!" LOL... my god that would be awesome.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Redbull and Childbirth


So I am drinking a Redbull right now and I happened to read what was on the can. "enhances performance and concentration during times of stress and strain." or something like that.......

At this point I thought... What if some preggo chick decided to down like four Redbulls before giving birth? will it all be over with faster??? Will it even help? like BAM BOOM POW! Baby slams into wall, mom relaxes.. the end... congrats... baby got owned but hey less pain for mama dukes..

Now yes 4 Redbulls will most likely cause a huge crash afterwards... BUT THE MOM ISNT GOING ANYWHERE! It isn't like she has a pedicure appointment two hours after poppin eight pounds out of her vajayjay. So hey just go with it and then the crash should give mama a great nap after such a "strained" environment. :P

Maybe we should pop some Redbulls before popping out babies.

Brain Dead


How many times have I sat on the train on the way to school and wondered something absolutely obnoxiously preposterous. When have i not gone through a whole school year without stumping a professor with a ridiculous question? Hmm.. let's find out how my brain work's shall we? Time to rant my face off before I go brain dead :P